MY BLOODY VALENTINE

 

MY BLOODY VALENTINE: D- 

This was a remake, so I can only hope that the original was much better than this utter pile of rubbish.  The only saving grace of this entire film was that it had an all star cast. It's a shame that talents like Tom Atkins & Kevin Tighe were wasted on such a nonsensical, convoluted script, but it was fun to see them on the screen nonetheless. 

So little of this film made sense. You were left wondering, "why?" "what?" "how?" "when?" & "who?" so many times throughout the film. It was written as if someone had one idea that they wanted to go with, someone else had another & then a third person came in and wanted to go a completely different direction. The director took a look at all three ideas & decided that even though they contradicted one another, all three would be implemented into the film.  

Of course like all films that fail, there are few likable characters & the more likable they are, they more likely they were to be killed off. Then of course the character you like the most, turns out to be the killer. 

What a pile of garbage.  If it wasn't for getting to see Atkins & Tighe on the screen, this would have been an F. 

M3GAN

 

M3GAN = C

Be it rather ironic that a film whose very topic deals with the consequences of unpreparedness, not thinking things through & moving forward despite plausible ramifications, when it itself suffers from the exact same problems. It's almost hypocritical in a way, as it is doubtful that this was intentional. A film's goal should be to be as perfect & flawless as possible. Yet M3GAN was every bit as flawed & foible as was Gemma in her design & implementation. 

The film suffered the same fate as our main character. A good central idea, that was put together too quickly & not thought out well enough before being launched.  The death of the dog made sense as it attacked Cady and posed a serious, immediate threat.  The death of the neighbor who could potentially cause problems made sense as well. Although the bully at the school was cliched, unnatural & so convenient to the plot that it about makes you vomit, even his death made sense. 

You know what didn't make sense though?  The death of David & the death of Kurt. I could see why M3gan wanted to eliminate Tess & Cole. That made sense. They were aware of the danger & of what she was capable of. If anything killing David & Kurt was detrimental to M3gan's plan. Neither of them were aware of the danger or what she had done. As far as they knew she was the answer to as David said, "Kicking Hasbro right in the ' ' ".    David & Kurt would have been the types to have wanted to have made more M3gans and to have consistently updated her.  Killing them not only didn't make sense, it killed the momentum of what was supposed to be a very intelligent self learning computer. 

I appreciated the usage of Bruce at the end of the film to aid Cady & Gemma's fight against M3gan, but again the fight in itself didn't make a whole lot of sense. If M3gan's core objective was to protect Cady at all costs, as the programming was said to have done, then no amount of self learning would have ever put itself ahead of its main objective. In other words M3gan wouldn't have put herself/itself ahead of the protection of Cady. Had it seen itself as a threat to Cady, it would have either stopped itself or even tried to destroy itself. It made no sense from an objective standpoint for M3gan to turn on Cady.  Not from the setup, the dialog or the structure of the story.  

I have to commend the film on the character arch of Gemma.  The shift of her starting off cold, callous & almost robotic in nature against the actual robot of M3gan seeming more empathetic & human was done quite well.  As the layers of M3gan were stripped away to reveal the inhuman bronze structure beneath, the layers of Gemma were added to reveal her humanity.  The film did well here. 

Yet overall, there was too much convenience to move the plot forward. There were too many character choices, especially from M3gan that didn't fit the narrative. The pieces didn't fit the board smoothly & were instead jammed into places where they didn't fit.   The suspense and mystique of it all is enough to keep you watching, as the action seems to make up for the obvious holes within the plot.  The good is there, but so is the bad. Hence the straight C, as fair and objective a grade as one can give it. 

Have to comment on how much the M3gan doll looked like the Olsen twins.  It was so similar it was almost freaky.  If only M3gan had said, "you got it dude" somewhere within the film. 

M3GAN  is in a nutshell THE TERMINATOR meets CHILD'S PLAY (2019) meets ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK'S: THE TALE OF THE CURIOUS CAMERA.  

NOPE

 

NOPE =  B


I enjoyed this film.  Of all the Jordan Peele films I have seen thus far, this was by far the best. It was a simple, man vs nature story, that might have benefited by sticking on the paved path, rather than occasionally venturing down the unknown.  Then again without the occasional, ambiguous, cryptic scene here and their, would it really have been Jordan Peele? 

It took me a while to really understand the character of Ricky Park (Steven Yeun) and what his true purpose was to the story.  It was obvious that the Gordy scenes had a deeper meaning to the story's message, but it took me a while before it all came together.  When simplicity  interweaves with convolution, it can cause you at times to make things more difficult than they actually are.  I kept thinking that the two stories would literally come together at some point, when in fact it was pure symbolism. 

The Gordy incident didn't happen out of ignorance. Those in charge were fully aware of the risks involved but they didn't care because of the monetary gains that could be acquired through exploitation.  Hence why we see the Chimpanzee wreck havoc killing & injuring his costars , with history to repeat itself when Park & his audience are devoured by the extra-terrestrial. 

The acting was good in this film.  Daniel Kaluuya is to Peele what Johnny Depp is to Tim Burton.  I was disappointed we didn't get to see more of Keith David & I thought Brandon Perea did a fine job. Keke Palmer was rather annoying, but I'm sure that had to do more with the way the character was written than the way she portrayed her.  

What was most fascinating to me was hearing Michael Wincott speak in what I would assume is his actual speaking voice?  From Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves to The Crow to The Count of Monte Cristo  he usually accentuates and exaggerates his iconic voice.  It's been well over 30 years, but this marks the first times I think I've heard what he actually sounds like. 

No real deep thoughts on this film, although I could go into a long rant about Peele himself & how he's become a representation being judged not so much by his work, or his performance as he is the topics he deals with & the issues he tackles.  

Again, this was one of the better films of his that I have seen. 

KNOCK AT THE CABIN

 

KNOCK AT THE CABIN =  B- 


A director that has relied so heavily upon twist endings, it was only a matter of time before M Night Shyamalan finally took the direct approach. No gimmicks, no shocks, no surprises, just a straight forward, predictable plot with a predictable ending. Perhaps in essence, Shyamalan's greatest twist ever, in that one would come into this film expecting a great reveal, only to leave empty handed. 

As I felt with READY OR NOT, I do feel that practicality would have served this film better than the "this was all real" approach.  For a brief moment the film leaned towards Eric & Andrew perhaps convincing the cult of four into other beliefs.  I think that would have made for a better, more interesting film.  Andrew & Eric, as well as Wen coming together in order to manipulate & brainwash their way into defeating the others. I feel that the direct approach instead feeds into the crazy, insane conspiracies we already have way too much of on this earth.  I don't think that is a good thing. 

Yet taking my disdain for the film's overall approach & looking at it for what it is, rather than what I would have had it rather have been, I conclude that it was told well. The acting in the film was pretty good & I have to say I was thoroughly impressed with Dave Bautista.  From Terry Funk, to Roddy Piper, to Hulk Hogan and  The Rock, pro wrestlers have never been known for their dramatic abilities.  I thought he did a superb job.  I actually think he's a better actor than he was a pro wrestler & I am glad that he was given the opportunity to showcase his skills.  Kudos to Shyamalan for not automatically disqualifying him because of his physique.  Their has been progress within the theater! 

This is a "what will happen next?" mystery/suspense that really throws you for a loop by doing exactly what it says it will do, when you're instead expecting the unexpected.  In THE SIXTH SENSE we find out that Bruce Willis has actually been dead the whole time.  In THE VILLAGE we find out that what seemed to take place long ago, is actually in the present day.  In THE VISIT we find out that they really aren't their real grandparents. 

In KNOCK AT THE CABIN what we get is what we see.  

A NIGHT TO REMEMBER

 

A NIGHT TO REMEMBER - B 

In the modern era of movies it can be rather difficult to fairly assess a film that is 65 years old. To compare it to it's predecessor TITANIC released nearly 40 years later would be petty and unfair.  In many ways A NIGHT TO REMEMBER was every bit as good as TITANIC & in many ways far more historically accurate. A plot driven story, there was little focus on the characters & their backgrounds and a stronger focus on the event & the responses to it. 

Like TITANIC Bruce Ismay was made out to be at fault for the disaster but he wasn't painted anywhere near the coward. Instead they portrayed him to accurately be concerned about the passengers getting as many of them on to the lifeboats as he could.  It's very subtle, but him looking around seeing no one else & asking, "Is there not anyone else" added a strong context that was not their in the 1997 version. 

A NIGHT TO REMEMBER also laid heavily into the Californian none to afraid to call the captain & crew out for their incompetence and mistakes. 

I will say that this film took a while to get started. The first hour felt more like an historical piece or a documentary. Something you'd watch in history class with names, facts and dates.  It wasn't until the ship actually struck the ice berg that you felt a since a urgency.  That's when the film began to pick up & the action really began to start.  

Considering that special effects were still in their infancy at the time, the actual sinking of the ship was done quite well.  I appreciate an attention to detail of Officer Lightoller and the efforts he went to in saving as many passengers as he could.  

There were many brave & heroic individuals the night that Titanic went down & I feel A NIGHT TO REMEMBER showcased that quite well.  If you're a Titanic buff the way I am, this is a must see.  If anything, for the second hour especially.  

HOUSE

 

HOUSE =  C+


This was a rather odd film, yet interesting enough to hold my attention for the full run time. Normally ambiguity leaves me with a feeling of well done, satisfaction or a feeling of resentment against unanswered questions, but I'll be if I wasn't middle of the road here.  I never quite knew exactly what was going on or why, but never really needed to either. 

In many ways this film reminded me of one of my favorite horror films, Oculus.  As if House were the original rough draft & after many revisions, Oculus the final product.  Was the house truly haunted? Was Roger simply crazy?  Was this all within Roger's plot for his new novel?  If the house was haunted, was it the house that controlled Ben or was it Ben that controlled the house?  What was real? What wasn't?  Did Harold in the end realize that Roger had been telling him the truth or was that all in Roger's head too?  Did Roger really end up saving Jimmy?  So many questions that seem to have answers until you take everything into consideration.  Well it could be this, but it could also be that.  This particular happening points to this, while this other happening points to that.  

I was hoping with four sequels that maybe one of them might be more definitive as to what exactly is going on, but from what I was able to gather without viewing them yet, they are standalone films without reference to the original. 

As to other elements of the film, I found the situation with the neighbor and her son to be extraordinarily bizarre. I think this is where the "comedy" or the horror-comedy was supposed to be but I found it more disturbing than I did funny.  The special effects were down right cheesy, but was this done purposefully, tongue in cheek or was it "Ed Wood" serious? Hell, even trying to figure out the film from a production standpoint is rather ambiguous! 

The score wasn't anything too spectacular, but it was fitting. William Katt really seemed to buy into the material & the film was better as a result of his genuine performance.  George Wendt a character similar to Norm, which might explain why he went to the bar so much.  If the experience were real for his character, I think that would drive anyone to drink.  Richard Moll, a fun performance, similar to his small roll in the Highlander  series. 

This film isn't going to hold a special place in my heart, but I do feel it was worth the one time viewing I gave it. If you're into absurd horror films that care more about entertaining you than offending you, I would check this one out. 

RAISE THE TITANIC

 

RAISE THE TITANIC - C

I remember first hearing about this film when I was in high school.  It took me 20 plus years to finally get around to watching it, but I finally did.  I think two things hurt this film. First and foremost for 1980, this premise was just way too far out there. I think people today might be intrigued but 43 years ago, I think they were confused more than anything.  Honestly it is an interesting idea.  The concept of a rare element that can be used to create a forcefield or build the ultimate bomb being left aboard the Titanic is rather gripping. Add in the moral dilemma of what this could mean & suddenly you have captivating drama. However, it was told too matter of fact, with little action & absolutely no comic relief.  The pace was slow, the sense of urgency rather a snail's pace. I think people might have gone into this film thinking that it actually had something to do with the Titanic, when in reality Titanic was a mere background for a story about politics, & the lines that should or shouldn't be crossed in militaristic measures. 

That's not to say that the film didn't have its highlights.  The cast did quite well. Jason Robards as he usually is was quite good. David Selby had the most amount of energy, giving the most realistic responses. Richard Jordan seemed to be a bit more of a character that what the role called for, but still a decent performance. At times it seemed that the cast was rather bored with the material, which I'm sure transgressed to the audience. The moments of levity were few and far between, with the strongest being the white star line flag being raised once again on the Titanic. 

I also wonder if the ending didn't hurt this film as well. So much emphasis, time & money was spent to raise the Titanic off of the ocean floor, only to discover in the end that it didn't even need to be done in the first place. Then once the characters discover where the element actually is, ultimately deciding to keep it hidden. I think the overall message was one of putting humanity ahead of government, but I'm not sure if it came across that way. 

In the end I'll conclude that this average film bombed so poorly at the box office because titles can be rather misleading. I'm sure as we didn't have internet back in those days, people went to the theater expecting a Titanic film, and left vastly disappointed to discover that it wasn't.  Again, only a guess, but this is why I would think the film did not do well.