DREAMHOUSE NIGHTMARE

 

DREAM HOUSE NIGHTMARE : C 

Although it was not a Lifetime Movie Network film, it could have easily passed as one. Based on a true story, this film would have benefited sticking to the actualities of the real life situation & would have been better off to have omitted the made up parts. What really happened was already interesting enough, it didn't need all of the doctoring up that it received. The old saying "Sometimes less is more" really applies here as DREAM HOUSE NIGHTMARE illustrates exactly what that is countless times throughout the entire film. 

Not that there weren't elements of the film that deserve praise. For one the opening was extremely gripping & uniquely clever.  We are at first introduced to the antagonist set up as if she is the protagonist. We are immediately introduced to her situation as we empathize with the struggles she has endured. Her house was destroyed by Hurricane Katrina, her husband suffered a bad injury & is addicted to pills & she has the burden of raising an autistic daughter.  Then suddenly when the other couple shows up, it dawns on you that THEY are the protagonist and that she is the antagonist. It was a very well done reversal & it deserves to be recognized for how well it was shot. Unfortunately it's also the highlight of the entire film. 

I appreciate how the character of Madison portrayed by Terese Aiello was multi-dimensional.  While you don't empathize with her sociopathic behavior & all of the horrible things she does to the Wade family, you at least get to dive into her psyche and understand what drove her to the point of insanity.  Aiello did a great job of portraying the character & giving a realistic portrayal of such a person in a situation. 

Also props to Tenea Intriago. Playing someone with a mental disability is perhaps one of the hardest roles an actor can be given. I've seen some very well known, talented actors struggle with it in the past. Even some that just plain weren't able to do it. Juliette Lewis couldn't pull it off in THE OTHER SISTER & for that matter neither could Giovanni Ribisi. Intriago's performance was every bit as good as was Sean Penn's in I AM SAM or John Malkovich in OF MICE AND MEN. She nailed a very difficult part & she should be recognized for it. 

As to Rachel Whittle, her performance as Theresa Wade was 100% Lifetime Movie Network award winning worthy. She felt very unrealistic, written to the page and unnatural. Not sure if that was the way the character was written or if that was just the way she played the part. While blame wonders where exactly to be placed, the fact is, the performance felt odd and abnormal.  

Where this film really suffered was within the last 20 minutes. Had the film ended where Madison had gotten arrested & the credits rolled upon her being placed in the back of the squad car, the film might have earned a C+ or even a B-.   The film's focus was on Madison and the horrors she put the Wade family through. That was the entire focus of the film & then suddenly the last 20 minutes shifted to Madison's husband & her daughter. I think what the film was trying to go for, was to show how Autistic individuals can be heroes. While I appreciate the sentiment, it was out of place here & it robbed us from the reward of seeing Madison get her due. Furthermore it cheapened the heroic save made by her daughter.  Subplots should be woven into the main plot of a story and that wasn't done here. Instead it felt like two different films. The one ending definitively & the other rushed to be told in the last 20 minutes. 

It could have been worse though & that fact isn't lost on me.  It wasn't good, it wasn't all that bad, it was in many ways just ok.  If you're hard up for something to watch, you could do a lot worse. 

SHARK BAIT

 

SHARK BAIT 
C-

This flick felt like a student film through and through & I was actually surprised to see the seniority involved within the project. Screenwriter Nick Saltrese has been in the business for over 30 years, yet the screenplay felt uncomfortably simplistic and formulaic. Director James Nunn has been honing his craft for nearly 15 years & yet the film's direction felt so guarded and played safe that you would have thought this was his first project.  It was predictable from start to finish. One of those once you've seen one, you've seen em' all experiences. You saw the scenes unfold in your head long before they ever happened. You could hear the dialog word for word before it was spoken. It was painfully obvious from the start that Nat would be the sole survivor.  If anyone were to call "SPOILERS!!" in return I ask the following question:  Will the sun rise tomorrow morning? That's how blatantly obvious the film is. 

Nat is immediately established as the one likeable character. While Tyler matches Tom, Milly & Greg in terms of carelessness and stupidity, he's at least not as unsympathetic as the other three characters.  The screenplay gives you little reason to root for Tyler or hope for his survival but at the same time you don't enjoy the Shark's devouring of him in the way you do Greg or Milly. There is an attempt to salvage Tom's deplorable behavior, but we're cheated out of a true act of pure selflessness due to the fact that he's already wounded beyond repair. 

SHARK BAIT could easily be summed up as a film of a group of irresponsible knotheads served up one by one as a smorgasbord for a hungry shark. It absolutely astounds me that as nitpicky as audiences can be in terms of accuracy and honest depiction, you can literally get everything about shark behavior and what a shark would actually do in such a situation W-R-O-N-G, yet nobody bats an eye. 10 minutes on google, you'd quickly find the answer to be "No" in 9/10's of the questions you'd ask in response to this film.  "Would a Shark really?" No.  "Does sharks actually?" No.  No, no, no.  Doesn't matter, because while dramas, comedies, and even pornos are held to a standard, thrillers and horrors obviously aren't. 

There's nothing all that reprehensible about the film. It's sitthroughable. You're not going to run to the video store to obtain a copy to put in your DVD collection but you're not going to turn the film off in disgust either. There are a ton of films way better but this is far from the worst thing I've ever seen either. Slightly below average and you have a very fair grade.  

THE MURDER OF NICOLE BROWN SIMPSON

 

THE MURDER OF NICOLE BROWN SIMPSON: D- 

Stupidity has hit a whole new level. I feel somewhat bad for saying that as I once met the director, Daniel Farrands at a convention in St. Louis years ago. It's funny because when I met him all those years ago we talked of how a director had more or less butchered one of his screenplays. Nevetheless this film was just bad. Bad in about everyway a film can be bad. 

Why a D- instead of an F? Well I have to give credit where credit is due. Mena Suvari and Nick Stahl despite what they had to work with still gave convincing performances for the most part. When actors do their best, despite everything else, I have to give them props for effort. 

This film is tasteless. Plain and simple, absolutely tasteless. I remember first hearing of the plausible connection to Glen Rogers over 20 years ago. I thought it was a farfetched, damn near 0% plausibility theory back then and I think the same thing now.  To entertain such an improbable postulation makes a mockery of a very real tragedy where loved ones lost their lives in a very real heinous event. To treat  a matter of this magnitude as a novelty is rather shameful. 

It absolutely astounds me the filth that can get green lit when so many good, solid ideas lay dormant. This film hooked it's audience in with a clever title making them think that they were getting into a depiction of real life events and then unabashedly pulled a bait and switch into this ridiculous circus of obvious sensationalism and fiction.   

It's hard to even evaluate this film in any other area as that cardinal sin forever cements it into pipes that carry our sewage. Flush it down the toilet where it belongs.  This film was pure waste. 

BLACK PHONE

 

BLACK PHONE - A 


Well written. Well acted. Well directed. Well scored. Just a damn good film. With all of the rubbish we've been shown as of late in terms of thrillers society had a right to give up on them. Black Phone was a redemption. A few unanswered questions and a few areas that could have used a bit more explanation or at least exploration, the cons are few and the pros are plentiful.  The story was gripping and grasping. Well paced with smooth transitions. So good that unless you're about to explode, the bathroom can wait. 

The performances were exceptionally good, especially for the child actors. I was impressed with Mason Thames as Finney but I was blown away by Madeleine McGraw as Gwen. What a little Dean Stockwell in the making she is. Only 14 years old and already owns the screen as a poised and experienced veteran. I was also impressed with Jeremy Davies. It was nice to see him play a character so much different than the stereotypical spineless nerds that he is usually cast as. Then of course there was Ethan Hawke, who despite not having many lines also gave an outstanding performance. 

 I think some have forgotten that the basic formula for a good mystery/suspense is simple yet very effective. You don't need to overcomplicate things. Story should never be sacrificed in favor of twist, turn or shock. Story & the characters within that story should always be front and center, the focus of the film. Black Phone remembered that and it capitalized upon it. 

Thank you Scott Derrickson & C Robert Cargill for showing the world that these types of films can be fun and that these types of films can be good. 

ROOM FOR RENT

 

ROOM FOR RENT: D 

This awkward, nonsensical, frankly stupid film had but one saving grace, a respectable & dedicated cast. I've always wondered what it was like as an actor to get such a poorly written script & be obligated to do your best to give a solid & worthy performance in spite of it. Now I know.  The characters in this film were somewhat interesting, but the backgrounds and exposition to explain them, especially the main character were so off base & illogical that it made the film nearly unwatchable.  

What drove Joyce to insanity? Her husband's death? Codependency? Being forced to have an abortion against her will?  Let's give these questions examination.  If her husband's death led her to eventually being homicidal then it begs the question as to if he was the one stability in her life that initially kept her from these urges prior in her life. Having studied serial killers most of my life, her transition was irrational and non realistic. Codependency wouldn't lead to premeditated murder. The abortion she had would have been years prior, at least a decade and a half if not even longer ago. The killings of both her neighbor and Bob in a realistic setting would have been unplanned & in the third degree. It made absolutely no sense for it to be in the first degree & honestly it wouldn't have made sense to have been in the second degree either.  The creation and development of the character was virtually nonexistent and what was given to us as an audience was so impractical and unfeasible that it hurts to try and make any sense of it. 

I don't understand why drama, action, adventure, romance and even comedy are held to such a high standards but thrillers and horrors aren't. We expect Hemmingway's best work when the screenplay for a drama is submitted & anything less than GONE WITH THE WIND won't do. Yet when it comes to horror put a group of mentally challenged bonobos next to a computer and whatever turns out gets green lit into the garbage I just watched.  Thank Gawd Lin Shaye is such a gifted performer & that this film had other decent actors. Without them, I'd have enjoyed my last root canal more. 

THE GIRL WHO GOT AWAY

 

THE GIRL WHO GOT AWAY : B- 

THE GIRL WHO GOT AWAY could have been a straight forward film told in that of 90 minutes that would have given its audience a satisfying conclusion. Instead it threw on an extra 30 minutes of unnecessary twists and turns that as a result hurt the film's overall presentation. Had it been a straight up victim Vs torturer narrative, it would have eliminated the ambiguity and confusion while adding a sense of vengeance from a heroine that so many claim Hollywood lacks and is in desperate need of.  The story was strong & I just can't help but think that in this particular case revision may have been more of a burden than it was an attribute. The twists and turns seemed added and contrived, like that from a producer more so than that of a writer or a director. To reiterate, the film just did not need all of the extras. Had the story went with the one twist involving the older sheriff & stopped trying to top it with ridiculous twists for nothing more than "shock value" the story would have benefited. 

The performances were good. Lexi Johnson did a good of playing a straight up schizophrenic damaged from years of abuse and torture.  Chukwudi Iwuji as the investigative police officer also did a very good job. Overall all of the performances were fairly top notch. Nothing to complain about here.  

There were scenes that made no sense and left you with nothing but questions. These didn't help the film at all either. 

A story was here and furthermore a good story, but unfortunately as the old saying goes, "Don't try to fix something that isn't broken."  Nothing was broken here & they took the hammer, the nails and screw gun and "fixed" the ever lovin' Hell out of it. 

TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (2022)

 

TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE = C- 

I'm not even sure why I bother anymore. I'm beginning to think I got lucky in 2014 with OCULUS & it'll be the last truly great horror film I will ever see. Without a doubt TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSCRE (2022) had it's strengths. It wasn't without it's good moments. It's simply that the weaknesses far outweighed those strengths. For every pro there were multiple cons. For everything that was done right, multiple things were done wrong. 

Upon first glance, the film draws you in making you think that you're about to witness a story of epic revenge unfold from a woman who has been piling up a rage of vengeance for the last 48 years. You're looking forward to seeing Sally Hardesty go through the process of discovery, investigation & ultimate retribution, but instead discover her to be a minor character at best.  You'd think 48 years of preparation might have led to her making wiser decisions, but she seemed to fair better flying by the seat of her pants through pure improvisation in 1974 than what she did here. I'd like to give the character as well as the script points for redemption based on her cool save, but when only a few moments later it's all for not, those points quickly get stripped away. 

The characters in the story were interesting, but they were treated as if they were not. Many were built up as if they'd have meaning to the centralized plot, but they were so easily killed off and dismembered that you would have thought they were senseless bodies simply there so that the special effects department could make a bloody mess of their deaths. 

Very little of this film made sense & that isn't so much the problem as is the fact that there was little reason for the film not to make sense. There was a story here that could have easily been developed into something good, but instead they felt that being ambiguous and cryptic would be a better way to go. 

Of all the TCM films, & yes I've seen them all, this was far from the worst, yet it wasn't the best either. 

Props for a good cast that gave some solid performances. Props for the special effects team that made the kills one of the elements that made this film watchable. But a few cool kills doesn't make up for a lazy, nonsensical plot. This film had the blueprints to easily be a B, maybe even an A but instead settles for an apathetic C-.  

Extra points off for trying to be clever with the right wing propaganda with guns. I believe in gun rights myself. Responsible gun ownership is something I stand for, but if you're gonna throw in a political stance into your film do so with a bit more conviction and courage. Don't be so prissy thinking you're doing eruditely. It comes off as ostentatious.