DEADLY WATER

 DEADLY WATER: D-

This film is so bad that Vudu can't even advertise it correctly. The film's description is that of a deadly octopus but in the film they actually fight a giant squid.

The writing in this film was outright laughable. Nepotism slams hard as it is clear that the only reason Charlie O'Connel has a job is because of his brother Jerry. I'd call him the discount bargain bin version of Jerry, but I think it's safer to say after three weeks they'd change the sign from "FREE!!" to "PLEASE TAKE".

The film sets him up with a decent story of revenge but as the film progresses he seems more obsessed with scoring with the new hot chick he just met than he does in garnering decades worth of vengeance.

The dialog in this film was so bland and delivered in such a monotonic tone. This was just plain awful.

A HAUNTED HOUSE

 

A HAUNTED HOUSE 

B 

A fun, run of the mill horror parody from the mind of the Wayans' brothers that for the most part played it safe with a formulaic script & go-to laughs comedy. It took a handful of risks throughout the story, some that paid off and others that did not.  Not near as good as the SCARY MOVIES, but still fun enough for a single viewing.   

USS INDIANAPOLIS: MEN OF COURAGE

USS INDIANAPOLIS: MEN OF COURAGE = A-

Inspiring, educational, decent on historical accuracy, this film was one I found to be enjoyable. I felt that Nicolas Cage gave a solid performance. I wouldn't call it his best, but I thought he did well. Other performances were good as well, although at times contrived.

I appreciated the relationships throughout the film, although I felt some of the more interesting ones didn't get as much attention as they could have. The racial tension between the two black men & the one white man was quite intriguing. I felt the most rewarding part of the film was when the three of them celebrated their survival together in the hospital.

Only two complaints about the film. I didn't at all appreciate the deliberate plagiarism taken from PEARL HARBOR. There's an assortment of ways they could have handled the relationship between two of the supporting characters in their love triangle. Their was no need to carbon copy.

I also found the accounts taken from the real life soldiers to be quite interesting & wish some of their stories of fighting back against the sharks would have been shown in the film. They talked of how they'd find blunt objects & jam them into the sharks eyes. I would have liked to have seen that portrayed on the film. Instead it gave off a vibe that they just laid their completely helpless with no fight.

Which leads me to my final praise of the film. I did enjoy the actual footage & how it was explained that the captain received the proper exoneration many years later. I enjoyed the photographs.

LA BAMBA

LA BAMBA

B

It's funny. I actually remember sitting down to watch this like in 1990 or 1991. It was either ABC or NBC or CBS that used to do "Saturday Night's movie" or something of the sort. LA BAMBA was on and I was watching it when my dad came in and wanted to watch some sort of race instead.

So here we are nearly 30 years later, and I finally sat down to watch it! Yea!!

I thought Lou Diamond Phillips was brilliant. Took the role and ran with it. Did an excellent job of capturing Ritchie Valens movements, mannerisms and demeanor.

The story was good. Simplistic yet inspirational and motivating.

The music was really good.

DISMISSED

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DISMISSED: C-

A rather contrived story full of a lot of unrealistic scenarios and conveniences to move the plot forward rather than allow it to progress naturally.

The performances of the actors, especially the antagonist Lucas played by Dylan Sprouse and the protagonist Mr. Bentley played by Kent Osborne were very strong. Although Mr. Bentley made decisions & choices that no trained professional in the world of education would ever make, they were still believable due to the strength of his performance.

The biggest gripe anyone ought to have with the film is how much effort and time was put in to weaving an interesting, captivating and mesmerizing problem...and how little time and effort were put into the solution.

Lucas carefully calculates a grand plan to ruin Mr. Bentley's life and the simplicity of its foil felt as lazy as it did easy.

An anti-climatic ending, resolution can at times be overbearing, yet here it wasn't even sampled. The abrupt ending did nothing positive for the film.

Suspenseful enough to lure you in, with a cast that will keep you seated. Yet by film's end you'll wish they had done more with the supporting characters, especially Mr. Garrett and you'll leave wondering why they didn't.

RATTLESNAKE

RATTLESNAKE: C+

A hair above average run of the mill thriller full of formulaic yet fun suspense and practical yet immersing horror. Well structured, systematic set up, that felt as though it should have succeeded, but in many ways it didn't. Yet, it wasn't a failure either. It wasn't a swing and a miss. The bat connected with the ball. The ball soared in the air with potential to be a homerun, and somehow it kept going foul.

What needed explanation received ambiguity. What could have stood to have been left up to imagination, unneeded and unwarranted attention. Too much peanut butter sandwich and not near enough milk to wash it down. The internal struggle of the mother while battling external forces was interesting but not convincing. Her slow descend into what felt would eventually become insanity was awkwardly blocked in an unbalanced dual with rationality and conscience. Even worse at the pivotal moment of what appeared to be a dramatic change within the character, it was nothing more than a tease. She was the same person driving out of the town as she was driving in.

The film hit the objectives. The assignment complete. You have to give it at least a C because it followed the rubric. All of the standards and benchmarks complete. Yet it lacked energy. It lacked soul. It lacked substance

ASSIMILATE

ASSIMILATE: C

"A movie very similar to INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS" Uh, my ass. This movie was INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS. If you're going to be a remake, redoing or reimaging of a film at least come clean and admit it. As sick as I am of everything being unoriginal I have more respect for a film admitting being the same ole same ole, rather than one that tries to fool you into thinking it's something fresh and new. On that merit alone I had to drop the film down at least one third of a grade.

The film itself wasn't too bad though. Nothing spectacular but nothing awful either. Average on about every level. The mystery and suspense began to get a little traction until it became obvious that nothing other than what had already been solved was going to be revealed. The motivation of the characters continuously going back for the little brother was rather contrived. Realistically there's no way he'd have been kept alive that long.

The acting here was decent. It wasn't Laurence Olivier but it wasn't Tommy Wiseau. It was enough to keep the story moving along.

The ending although guessable wasn't exactly predictable. It was obvious that it was going to be doom and gloom, but dare I say clever with a bit of a reversal.

It could have been better, but it could have been worse.